


Antonio and his Mercedes

by qyary, sideburnsoverlord (Viktory)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mercedes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:17:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qyary/pseuds/qyary, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viktory/pseuds/sideburnsoverlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>antonio, an unemployed newlywed, is trying his hardest to bring in some income for the family (even tho his wife is rich). after following the address of a craigslist ad to buy a food truck, he is abducted by an evil mercedes convertible (actually possessed by the restless spirit of santiago francisco fernandez de la guadelupe), and forced to give up life, wife and unemployment status all to the mysterious whims of a malignant ghost car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Antonio and his Mercedes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Divine Punishment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7286443) by [Dantalian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dantalian/pseuds/Dantalian). 



> qyary wrote santiago's part and i wrote toni's. we hope you enjoy the fruits of our labour with us!

toni was going to buy his new used food truck today, and he was really excited. finally he would make money doing what he loved, selling food, and celine won't call him a lazy good for nothing idiot anymore!!! he walked to the address listed on craigslist and saw only a silver new mercedes in the driveway. it was beautiful but nah, not toni's type. waiting patiently for the owner to show up in his food truck, he never came, night falls and toni fell asleep inside the beautiful, voluptuous mercedes 

what was th--?! DIOS MIO THE CAR WAS TALKING TO HIM! no youre wrong toni that's just the air conditioner turning on... he tried to go back to sleep but something was not right, he didnt know what it was until... 

Santiago (mod) Francisco Fernandez was a goddamn car. no!!!! he was not actually a car more like possessed it because idk, had to do with him dying and then like his soul not going to heaven because he said god's name in vain ONCE!!!! (once) and this was his punishment..... or it should have been, until like he figured out some kind of scheme to rope toni in. u see, Santiago was in love, IN LOVE with celine, and she was stolen from him by goddamn Antonio. that piece of shit. so what was Santiago Francisco Fernandez de la Guadalupe's idea? To ruin Antonio's life, not that it was perfect because fuck, he was unemployed. so he made a fake craigslist add, IN SOME WAY, and here he was. 

with the goddamn Spaniard sleeping on him. he turned on the air conditioning because WAKE UP PENDEJO!!!!!!! ofc toni did because he was a lil baby when it came to the cold, weak. so what now? oh yeah, time to introduce himself. "oi pendejo despiertate o te voy a matar" for those who don't kno Spanish (coughs everyone in this chat): hey fucker wake up or im gonna kill u. 

"OMG im awake" toni shouted, not wanting to be matared or whatever the past tense verb of kill is in spanish. then he was holy shit because he had no idea who was talking, why did the voice have a spanish accent???????????? "omg im so scared, spare me heavenly father your humble servant" he said, kneel down to pray. then he calm down after the prayer and laughed "jaja, it must be the seller of the food truck but where is he?" he rolled down the window and looked around. there was nobody. 

antonio shivered, goosebumps growing on him. then he remembered the a/c was on. he tried to turn it off, but he couldnt. "?quien es?" he said in a scared horror movie heroine voice, trying to locate the sinister spanish voice. i sounded like it was coming from the CAR ITSELF. "what do you want with me?"

what THE fuck is wrong w him?? WHO says OMG like the letters?? is he trying to be cool like the modern people? does Antonio NOT know who he is????? Santiago NEEDED to remind toni that he was a deadbeat father. he didn't even have a kid, that's how bad toni is. "im here you idiot- wait you know what??"

time to *spongebob fish voice* REV UP THOSE FRYERS!!! i mean engine but u know what, i don't care. and that's what this car did. turn on. and literally start driving. "its me, the car. like i want you to buy me. or i'll crash us. so buy me. just put the cash in like the glove compartment. now"

the car started by itself which was super startling. he was seriously convinced the voice was COMING FROM THE CAR? toni was sobbing so he couldn't see the steering wheel, luckily it didn't matter since he car was smart and didnt crash.

is this car trying to force him to buy it from... itself??? "jajaja you are very funny car. who is your real owner" toni asked. then he screamed because he was talking to a car, thats it he was going insane, what is bel going to say now. "You cant robb me, I have a family," he weeped, but car was merciless. he put a 20 bill into the glover compartment. "i'll give you 20 dollars to leave me alone, now please drop me off car."

why was he sobbing? WAS HE SERIOUSLY SOBBING RIGHT NOW??? MR I USED TO BE PART OF A GANG IS SOBBING??? fuck. he's so pathetic. and family?? wtf. last time Santiago talked to toni, his only family was joaquim and joaquim is a literal shit brother. theyre both shitty. ugh. 

so the car slowed down, not before locking the doors and trying to buckle toni up. "nononono" he said in rapid Spanish because all Spanish ppl talk 100 mph. "you will pay me the full price for the foodtruck!!! im your car now, so get used to it Antonio Fernandez carriedo. shit last name btw." and then the car started speeding up. "so hurry up or i will crash you for real and steal your girlfriend away!!! prisa prisa!!!!!!" dora voice prisa is Spanish for hurry! 

"how do you know my name?" whimpered antonio. he barely resisted as the seatbelt wrapped around. actually it was strange he almost thought he recognized the car's voice, but wtf? who would be mean enough to do this to him? "where are you taking me? why are you doing this? how can you steal my girlfriend/wife youre a car?" 

it was weird, the car definitely had a spanish accent but no REAL spaniard drove this slowly. "youre so fake," he complained through his tears. not only was he getting kidnapped, he was BEING KIDNAPPED BY A SLOWAF VEHICLE who only drove like 10 miles over the speed limit. surely he was being punished by god for something, probably because he had tried flirting with the priest who had done the marriage ceremony for him and celine, he gasped. "youre not even a food truck! how dare you! youre only a mercedes you useless [spanish insult]!"


End file.
